Sunday, September 4, 2011

Thankful for Him and him






"No human relation gives one possession in another… every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship or in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone."
Khalil Gibran

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The extending tingle of a first kiss

I had an interesting dream the other night. I dreamt I was walking barefoot down a warm pavement path, I am not sure where I was but it looked an awful lot like a cemetery, except I don't remember seeing any actual graves. The air was thick from the heat of the sun that was nearly done setting. It seemed like only seconds before the beautiful shades of pink and orange that danced across the sky deepened to fierce shades of puffy black and gray. Somehow before I could understand the weather change, I found myself in the labor pains of a coming storm. Before my brain could tell my legs to run, I felt a sting of pain and a flash of light. I had somehow been struck by lightening and was laying face down on the now cold pavement. My lower body seemed paralyzed as I opened my eyes to assess the damage, I noticed a old newspaper on the ground next to me. To my surprise, my curiosity enabled my hands to reach out and grab it. As I opened the newspaper which, seemed to be from a few years back, old pictures of myself from high school fell out in slow motion as if they were suspended in the air just long enough for me to see my past swoosh by then they were gone and I woke up.

The morning after I had this dream I couldn't stop thinking about how vivid it all had been. Finally after a couple hours I decided to look up what it means to be struck by lightening in your dreams. I know, how original, however what I read, I found to be spot on, so I will share it with you. According to the dream translator, "to dream that you are struck by lightning, symbolizes irreversible changes occurring in your life. You are undergoing a permanent transformation."

This ladies and gentleman, is absolutely true of my life right now. The grace and renewal I've experienced over the last four months has been life transforming. The habits and memories I thought I could never rid my mind of seemed to flash past me as fast as the pictures in my dream and simply disintegrate. I finally feel as though fresh tracks have been laid for me and I've already boarded a new train that never takes me down the old roads I used to roam and that has been extraordinarily freeing. Walking in freedom has equipped me to take on the life God originally planned for me. Like a first kiss I can still feel the tingle of the unknown rising the hairs on my skin, but it the lack of fear has sent me shooting forward in faith. God's never left my side, and that, I have learned is always true.
"From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Psalm 61:2

Thursday, September 1, 2011

I am humbled indefinitely

Well friends, it's 3:36AM. I went to bed at 10:30PM and woke up a few minutes ago like I'd met my sleeping quota for a year. Wide awake is my current state, but not that miserable wide awake, I'm in this weird serene, rested confidence. I've been too busy to write or so I've been telling myself for the last three months. Apparently God has other plans, if the middle of the night is when He wants me to write, then so be it. Here's the deal, the girl inside me says, "tell them about your new man" but other than he is absolutely wonderful, I'm not entirely sure what I'm about to write. From the aspect of believer I ought to have known my expectations would be far surpassed and yet I could not have imagined feeling so graciously loved and so indubitably valued by another person.

The way he cares for me has taught me only a small ounce of the love of my Abba and everyday that I let Stephen love me, is another day I fall deeper in love with the original Lover of my soul. The way Stephen approaches life is unique in the sense that he sees it as a privilege to serve people. No matter what he's doing for me, he does it as though he couldn't be happier to get to be the guy who takes care of me. I've never had someone paint such a perfect picture of humble servant hood as much as just being around this boy has shown me.That's how I know things are different. I get the butterflies every time I'm reminded of how precious love is when it's done with the Lord as ground we walk on. Have there been times where things weren't perfect or easy, yes, but when your hearts are set on serving and others, somehow the rest just works itself out. I am humbled indefinitely by God's blessings and the reality of his goodness reflected all around me.