"No human relation gives one possession in another… every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship or in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone."
Khalil Gibran
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Thankful for Him and him
"No human relation gives one possession in another… every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship or in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone."
Khalil Gibran
Saturday, September 3, 2011
The extending tingle of a first kiss
I had an interesting dream the other night. I dreamt I was walking barefoot down a warm pavement path, I am not sure where I was but it looked an awful lot like a cemetery, except I don't remember seeing any actual graves. The air was thick from the heat of the sun that was nearly done setting. It seemed like only seconds before the beautiful shades of pink and orange that danced across the sky deepened to fierce shades of puffy black and gray. Somehow before I could understand the weather change, I found myself in the labor pains of a coming storm. Before my brain could tell my legs to run, I felt a sting of pain and a flash of light. I had somehow been struck by lightening and was laying face down on the now cold pavement. My lower body seemed paralyzed as I opened my eyes to assess the damage, I noticed a old newspaper on the ground next to me. To my surprise, my curiosity enabled my hands to reach out and grab it. As I opened the newspaper which, seemed to be from a few years back, old pictures of myself from high school fell out in slow motion as if they were suspended in the air just long enough for me to see my past swoosh by then they were gone and I woke up.
The morning after I had this dream I couldn't stop thinking about how vivid it all had been. Finally after a couple hours I decided to look up what it means to be struck by lightening in your dreams. I know, how original, however what I read, I found to be spot on, so I will share it with you. According to the dream translator, "to dream that you are struck by lightning, symbolizes irreversible changes occurring in your life. You are undergoing a permanent transformation."
This ladies and gentleman, is absolutely true of my life right now. The grace and renewal I've experienced over the last four months has been life transforming. The habits and memories I thought I could never rid my mind of seemed to flash past me as fast as the pictures in my dream and simply disintegrate. I finally feel as though fresh tracks have been laid for me and I've already boarded a new train that never takes me down the old roads I used to roam and that has been extraordinarily freeing. Walking in freedom has equipped me to take on the life God originally planned for me. Like a first kiss I can still feel the tingle of the unknown rising the hairs on my skin, but it the lack of fear has sent me shooting forward in faith. God's never left my side, and that, I have learned is always true.
The morning after I had this dream I couldn't stop thinking about how vivid it all had been. Finally after a couple hours I decided to look up what it means to be struck by lightening in your dreams. I know, how original, however what I read, I found to be spot on, so I will share it with you. According to the dream translator, "to dream that you are struck by lightning, symbolizes irreversible changes occurring in your life. You are undergoing a permanent transformation."
This ladies and gentleman, is absolutely true of my life right now. The grace and renewal I've experienced over the last four months has been life transforming. The habits and memories I thought I could never rid my mind of seemed to flash past me as fast as the pictures in my dream and simply disintegrate. I finally feel as though fresh tracks have been laid for me and I've already boarded a new train that never takes me down the old roads I used to roam and that has been extraordinarily freeing. Walking in freedom has equipped me to take on the life God originally planned for me. Like a first kiss I can still feel the tingle of the unknown rising the hairs on my skin, but it the lack of fear has sent me shooting forward in faith. God's never left my side, and that, I have learned is always true.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
I am humbled indefinitely
Well friends, it's 3:36AM. I went to bed at 10:30PM and woke up a few minutes ago like I'd met my sleeping quota for a year. Wide awake is my current state, but not that miserable wide awake, I'm in this weird serene, rested confidence. I've been too busy to write or so I've been telling myself for the last three months. Apparently God has other plans, if the middle of the night is when He wants me to write, then so be it. Here's the deal, the girl inside me says, "tell them about your new man" but other than he is absolutely wonderful, I'm not entirely sure what I'm about to write. From the aspect of believer I ought to have known my expectations would be far surpassed and yet I could not have imagined feeling so graciously loved and so indubitably valued by another person.
The way he cares for me has taught me only a small ounce of the love of my Abba and everyday that I let Stephen love me, is another day I fall deeper in love with the original Lover of my soul. The way Stephen approaches life is unique in the sense that he sees it as a privilege to serve people. No matter what he's doing for me, he does it as though he couldn't be happier to get to be the guy who takes care of me. I've never had someone paint such a perfect picture of humble servant hood as much as just being around this boy has shown me.That's how I know things are different. I get the butterflies every time I'm reminded of how precious love is when it's done with the Lord as ground we walk on. Have there been times where things weren't perfect or easy, yes, but when your hearts are set on serving and others, somehow the rest just works itself out. I am humbled indefinitely by God's blessings and the reality of his goodness reflected all around me.
The way he cares for me has taught me only a small ounce of the love of my Abba and everyday that I let Stephen love me, is another day I fall deeper in love with the original Lover of my soul. The way Stephen approaches life is unique in the sense that he sees it as a privilege to serve people. No matter what he's doing for me, he does it as though he couldn't be happier to get to be the guy who takes care of me. I've never had someone paint such a perfect picture of humble servant hood as much as just being around this boy has shown me.That's how I know things are different. I get the butterflies every time I'm reminded of how precious love is when it's done with the Lord as ground we walk on. Have there been times where things weren't perfect or easy, yes, but when your hearts are set on serving and others, somehow the rest just works itself out. I am humbled indefinitely by God's blessings and the reality of his goodness reflected all around me.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Faithful One, You've overwhelmed my heart.
I've been resistant to blog this, but to my humble surprise somehow in the course of the last month I did in fact have the moment I had specifically asked God for. Never in my wildest dreams did I actually think it would happen, nor did I see it coming so soon. It was one of those nights where you know God is there because it's just too right, too simple, too beautiful to understand. This boy took what I knew of the dating game, and love and placed before me wholeness, holiness, grace, and a peaceful covering. He never once forced my love or fought my bucking resistance. He was sweet, confident and caring. He whispered words of life over me as I tried to convince him my baggage would be too much to carry, that my wounds were too deep to do this right.
"You're wrong," he told me. "God doesn't work that way. You will have a good life and those things you think make you wrong for this, are yours to drop whenever you want too. And when you're ready whether it's tomorrow or a year from now I will be waiting for you."
We were sitting on a park bench by a lake in my neighborhood. I remember as he spoke so close to my face that our foreheads were touching. He had me wrapped up in his arms and my legs were draped over his knees like a little girl. I felt so taken care of and yet so full of emotions that I had to close my eyes to sigh and before I could control it, a smile broke across my face. I sat speechless, "this guy," I remember thinking, "he's the one I've been waiting for."
Yes I realize I just revealed a very intimate moment that he and I shared but honestly I want other girls to understand that God has a way of mending years of unsureness, of cold walled up hearts and damaged mindsets in a matter of moments. It was not the fact the I have a new boyfriend that healed me, because I could have had a boyfriend a long time ago, it was coming to the conclusion that the love I thought I knew was not the same love that I was made for giving or receiving. It is genuine and honest and life giving and pure. It has no comparison or doubt. The Lord is forever faithful. Walk in that friends.
"You're wrong," he told me. "God doesn't work that way. You will have a good life and those things you think make you wrong for this, are yours to drop whenever you want too. And when you're ready whether it's tomorrow or a year from now I will be waiting for you."
We were sitting on a park bench by a lake in my neighborhood. I remember as he spoke so close to my face that our foreheads were touching. He had me wrapped up in his arms and my legs were draped over his knees like a little girl. I felt so taken care of and yet so full of emotions that I had to close my eyes to sigh and before I could control it, a smile broke across my face. I sat speechless, "this guy," I remember thinking, "he's the one I've been waiting for."
Yes I realize I just revealed a very intimate moment that he and I shared but honestly I want other girls to understand that God has a way of mending years of unsureness, of cold walled up hearts and damaged mindsets in a matter of moments. It was not the fact the I have a new boyfriend that healed me, because I could have had a boyfriend a long time ago, it was coming to the conclusion that the love I thought I knew was not the same love that I was made for giving or receiving. It is genuine and honest and life giving and pure. It has no comparison or doubt. The Lord is forever faithful. Walk in that friends.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
"Sho-mance" Please
I joke with my roommates about wanting a "Shoemaker Romance" because of (The Shoemakers) a couple I know of who met on a random isle in Life Way and got married four months later. They are the most in love people I've ever met, and their marriage radiates the Father like a flashing billboard. It struck me so much so, that it stripped my want for anything less than a love like theirs. Do I expect to actually meet my husband in Life Way, No. (Although if I do, it will be rather funny)Anyway, this is me documenting to all, that I have told God and I am special requesting a "Sho-mance" as I am going to dub it. Which means the it will go a little something like... Hi, I've been waiting for you, and in that moment I am absolutely positive I've found the one God has always meant for me.
Truthfully, it's probably not going to happen like that but as they say, "ask not and recieve not.." I met a girl tonight who said she met her husband when she was on a business trip with her mom in Nashville. She was from California so being in south was like a vacation and meeting her husband (a guy from Alabama) was the last thing she expected. Standing on a balcony over looking the hotel lobby from serveral floors up, she spotted a guy she thought was just too good looking so she rode the elevator down and walked through the lobby to see if he would notice her... he did. They stayed up all night talking and six months later they got engaged. Another "sho-mance"...I really hope my story is half that cool.
Truthfully, it's probably not going to happen like that but as they say, "ask not and recieve not.." I met a girl tonight who said she met her husband when she was on a business trip with her mom in Nashville. She was from California so being in south was like a vacation and meeting her husband (a guy from Alabama) was the last thing she expected. Standing on a balcony over looking the hotel lobby from serveral floors up, she spotted a guy she thought was just too good looking so she rode the elevator down and walked through the lobby to see if he would notice her... he did. They stayed up all night talking and six months later they got engaged. Another "sho-mance"...I really hope my story is half that cool.
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