Mulligan Please?

Haven't blogged in two weeks. That is a long time, atleast for me. I haven't wanted to write or talk or do anything but work. My mind has been going ninty to nothing day in and day out. I have even had a tremendous amount of trouble sleeping the last week. I found myself laying in bed just wanting to scream from the inabliity to relax and the hours of tossing and turning in frustration.

My roommate found me awake at 5AM last night watching inspiration network(I figured if I'm awake why not listen to some gospel music instead of 30 minute infomercials?) Couldn't hurt. When I do sleep I have crazy dreams. I don't know what exactly is going on. I'm not upset, stressed, or worried and yet I have this unruly tension that won't leave me. I can't put my finger on it. I'm fine during the day but I can't seem to relax enough to do any of the things I love to do like write. I spend all my time trying to get to that point and the next thing I know I'm alone in the darkness of my apartment waiting for the sun to come up so I can try again tomorrow. It's crazy how the enemy will try to get at you. I've got to create some kind of way to come home from work and just be still for a few minutes. I'm going to ask God for a mulligan for the past two weeks.

"God, you speak in golf terms right? Okay good. Well, I don't know what's going on, but let's fix it. I need another chance to start this summer off your way. Quiet my soul so I can rest. Calm all thoughts that aren't of you. Lay next to me at night when I feel alone. You are a good God, and this will not get the best of me."

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done." -Genesis 50:20