Once again I sit, knowing there are things I need to get out, but still holding on so tightly to my thoughts in fear of them coming into light. Which is kind of ironic because it always feels so liberating once I finally get out what I let bounce around in my head making to the point it makes me sick.
How much strength does it take to love? Any at all? I've been thinking about it, even the weakest of the weak.. they are still capable of love. So, why is it that I don't seem able? Could be that I don't want to, more likely it has to do with one word... Fear. Fear is not just a scary word because it indicates that you are afraid of something, it's a scary word because when it can be used to describe something in your life, parts of your life itself are being stolen from you. I let fear steal a lot from me... and that is scary.
A few days ago I touched on how we are never unloved, and if you picked up on it, I am not very good at receiving that kind of love. I think the reason we are able to love one another is because God wants us to be able to tangibly feel a small portion of the way he feels about us. It's hard for me to come to terms with a love like that, that cannot be lost. When you have had your heart torn a part or even just ripped a little, many people, like myself, start to associate their hurt with love. Fellow readers please pay attention. STOP doing that. Seriously I'm quitting too.
That was never God's intention for love. Love is a gift, and when we feel unloved it's usually because we have chosen not to receive it or because we have let someone make us feel that we don't deserve it. That someone is always wrong. ALWAYS. I read the book of Hosea last night. God sent Hosea to marry a prostitute, knowing she would continue her ways even after he married her. Hosea was to love her just the same and it was all meant to represent how we often treat our convenant with God, and yet He just wants us to come home so He can love us just the same. No questions asked. That is love.
"Love the Lord your God, and love one another. Love as He loves. Love with strength and purpose and passion, and no matter what comes against you, don't weaken. Stand against the darkness and love. That's the way back to Eden, that's the way back to life." -Redeeming Love
How much strength does it take to love? Any at all? I've been thinking about it, even the weakest of the weak.. they are still capable of love. So, why is it that I don't seem able? Could be that I don't want to, more likely it has to do with one word... Fear. Fear is not just a scary word because it indicates that you are afraid of something, it's a scary word because when it can be used to describe something in your life, parts of your life itself are being stolen from you. I let fear steal a lot from me... and that is scary.
A few days ago I touched on how we are never unloved, and if you picked up on it, I am not very good at receiving that kind of love. I think the reason we are able to love one another is because God wants us to be able to tangibly feel a small portion of the way he feels about us. It's hard for me to come to terms with a love like that, that cannot be lost. When you have had your heart torn a part or even just ripped a little, many people, like myself, start to associate their hurt with love. Fellow readers please pay attention. STOP doing that. Seriously I'm quitting too.
That was never God's intention for love. Love is a gift, and when we feel unloved it's usually because we have chosen not to receive it or because we have let someone make us feel that we don't deserve it. That someone is always wrong. ALWAYS. I read the book of Hosea last night. God sent Hosea to marry a prostitute, knowing she would continue her ways even after he married her. Hosea was to love her just the same and it was all meant to represent how we often treat our convenant with God, and yet He just wants us to come home so He can love us just the same. No questions asked. That is love.
"Love the Lord your God, and love one another. Love as He loves. Love with strength and purpose and passion, and no matter what comes against you, don't weaken. Stand against the darkness and love. That's the way back to Eden, that's the way back to life." -Redeeming Love
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