You speak to storms

What if you could always turn your fear to joy? That'd be nice. Surely, there is a button I can press or a quote I can read.

No?

Well, what about a book, or a movie, maybe even a podcast! That should do it!

No?

What is it then? What is it that has torn the misery away and made me so hopeful, so peaceful, and actually thriving for life again?

Here's the truth, I didn't do anything, I didn't blare worship music to numb my thoughts, I didn't read another chapter of my latest Elisabeth Elliot book or fill my bestfriend's ear full of questions. No, it was a typical morning when I was driving to class, in silence when I just spoke the words out loud. I'm not even sure what came over me but it felt good to finally say it so simply,

"I need You today. I don't know what that means, but You do and I need You."

I felt my eyes filling like buckets about to spill over. I haven't been able to cry in a long time. I didn't need to explain myself, or rationalize what is in my best interest, I just asked and things changed. My thoughts changed, my hope changed, and finally my vigor for life has began to flow again right along side of my tears. It's strange how people can get to such a hopeless state. I had always considered myself an optimist, how did someone like me find myself drowning in doubt? It can happen to anyone. The trick is getting out. It's simple, you just ask. For many who have over thought it, the asking is too simple an answer for their complex circumstances. We want God to send us a letter personally explaining the state we are in or have Him connect the next dot for us on a map so we can feel secure. Even the disciples found themselves in a frenzy from time to time, like in Mark when they're on the boat in the storm and Jesus is asleep down stairs. Panicked they run down and wake Jesus up saying, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?!" (Mark 4:38)

I feel like I've said the same thing. You always want to think you'd be the one who says "No guys, it'll be fine, I'm not worried" but there I was, twenty one and on my knees saying "I'm drowning, I need You." That's all He wants though and BAM the storm stopped raging. Amazing.