My Shepherd, My Beloved

I'm wrestling Jesus. Break my defenses. I try to do so much without You. I build my walls strong and thick. No one gets in unless they know how to dig deep under my foundation. I built these walls hoping that I could keep any more hurt far away. I keep watchmen atop my walls waiting to speak sarcasm and anger at anyone who dares come too close. Still, You've been teaching me things lately, at night when I sleep and even in my day dreams. Those are the only moments when my walls can be walked through. You sneak in and even in my resistance I am so glad You are there. You bring restoration. You bring fresh air and a calm warm breezes that tickle my skin, a sensation I haven't felt in a long time. You see past the walls and shields to my fragile state. You don't make me lift my hands or even my head, instead You curl up beside me and keep time with the rhythm of my breath till its slow and peaceful. You let me melt into you because it warms my soul and cracks my barriors. The process is long, but You assure me that You're not going anywhere. I've gotten good at not needing You, but You come for me anyway. You will never stop to rescuing me. Your bride. I am Yours. Help me to remember that. I love You.