The strange thing about life is the way it changes directions, the way it moves, flows, goes fast then slow and up then down. Sometimes though, you can feel like everything and everyone around you is moving and somehow you are left a motionless mass, not even in the drift, just among other objects taking up space. It's an unusual place, that can seem frightening if you choose to imagine the momentum of life catching up with you. Something, that my little analytical mind has definitely tried a time or two.
There is an unruly tension that comes when you are in a state of stillness. Like when someone tells you not to move and suddenly all you want to do is run, jump or even just scratch that itch on your left shoulder. Anything to keep from being in this frozen state. The tension is powerful and it tells you it's okay to flinch, or make small movements as a release, as long as no one see or notices. It's like you never even moved. I feel futile, anxious, and sometimes scared. This state of unknown, this place of what should probably be rest, has left me nothing but restless. I can only pray for perseverance. Whatever I need to carry, I am willing. I'm just tried of standing. Thy will be done.
No comments:
Post a Comment